Sunday, March 28, 2010

A woman writes to the IT Technical support Guy

Dear Tech Support, 

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and I noticed a distinct slowdown in the overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly underBoyfriend 5.0. 

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as 
Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as NEWS 5.0, MONEY 3.0 and SPORTS 4.1. 

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. 

Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. 
What can I do? 

Signed, 
_______ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ 
Reply 

DEAR Madam, 

First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. 

Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.Html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. 
If that application works as designed, Husband1.0should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.. 

However, remember, overuse of the above application can causeHusband 1.0 to default to Silence 2.5or Beer 6.1. 
Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta. 

Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0(it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.) 

In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0. 

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. 
You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. 
We recommend: Cooking 3.0 and Good Looks 7.7. 

Good Luck Madam! 

Saturday, March 20, 2010

"Nine keys to contentment"

Health enough to make work a pleasure.
Wealth enough to support your needs.
Strength enough to battle with difficulties and overcome them.
Grace enough to confess your sins and forsake them.
Patience enough to toil until some good is accomplished.
Charity enough to see some good in your neighbors.
Love enough to move you to be useful and helpful to others.
Faith enough to make real things of God.
Hope enough to remove all anxious fears concerning the future."

Positive

Be positive in addressing the envelope to your
future, for enclosed are your efforts from
the past. Be certain of the postage and double check what class..

Diversity

Why not let people differ about their answers to the great mysteries of the Universe? Let each seek one's own way to the highest, to one's own sense of supreme loyalty in life, one's ideal of life. Let each philosophy, each world-view bring forth its truth and beauty to a larger perspective, that people may grow in vision, stature and dedication.

The religions of humanity should be a unifying force, for all the great religions reveal a basic unity in ethics. Whether it be Judaism, Catholicism, Protestantism, Buddhism or Confucianism, all grow out of a sense of the sacredness of human life. This moral sensitivity to the sacredness of human personality -- the Commandments not to kill, not to hurt, not to put a stumbling block in the path of the blind, not to neglect the widow or the fatherless, not to exploit the servant or the worker -- all this can be found in the Bibles of humanity, in all the sacred books. All teach in substance: "Do unto others as you would that others should do unto you." There is, then, a basic unity among the great religions in the matter of ethics. True, there are religious philosophies which turn people away from the world, from the here and now, concentrating life-purposes on salvation for one's self or a mystic union with some supernatural reality. But most of the great religions agree on mercy, justice, love -- here on earth. And they agree that the great task is to move people from apathy, from an acceptance of the evils in life, to face the possibilities of the world, to make life sweet for one another instead of bitter. This is the unifying ethical task of all the religions -- yes, of all the philosophies of humankind. There is no need to force our own theological points of view upon one another or to insist that the moral life grows out of final, absolute authority.

Friday, March 19, 2010

Pain

It's really sad that as human some rather make life a living hell for others to live in, we all have experience pain and inhuman behavior from other human.

My regret most times is that am just too greedy and wicked, i do not want to listen nor hear what the guy next door have or want to say, am interested in my pain and trouble and driven by my sense of me only i become so materialistic and vanity inclined.

How do i live with my self knowing i can't change the world but me, please help as i do this things i do. My pain is certain and i can see and feel it every day, i need my self and my conscience to help fight my selfishness and pressure of this day. for every day brings its own needs and bargain for it must be to imbibe the culture of vanity, oppression, denier or fall behind the trend that the world and life style .

Every day we fight with our inner self just to do things right and do positive things and create a positive environment but how possible and how long can we do that, when our mind set is diversely occupied by troubles and pains of our environment.